Tell Me Something Good

If you think anything like me, you just sung the title of this post. If you didn't before, now you are, and if you don't know what I'm talking about, please click here. I'll wait.

Now we can move on. 

A dear friend once told me about a segment on a radio show called, "Tell Me Something Good," where, you guessed it, they share stories about good things that have happened. And then, of course, he shared a story with me about how the Lord provided in a unique way for someone. It seems like a simple enough concept,sharing good news, but it is one that I'm still trying to understand and put into practice. 

In the past few years God has taught me a lot about joy. One thing that I've learned (and continue to learn) is  that joy is something we have to fight for, and something that we have to choose. I was once told that positive and negative things, the good and the bad, are like railroad tracks. Both are always happening. Until we get to Heaven, we won't experience one entirely without the other. We have to choose and fight for joy. However, that doesn't mean keeping that joy to ourselves. We are called to rejoice all throughout scripture, and while there is a deep personally experienced joy, it is never just for us. 

"These things I remember, as I pour out my soul: how I would go with the throng and lead them in processions to the house of God with glad shouts and songs of praise, a multitude keeping festival."  

-Psalm 42:4

"This is the day that the LORD has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it." -Psalm 118:24

"Anxiety in a man's heart weighs him down, but a good work makes him glad." -Proverbs 12:25

 It's no secret that the world we live in is fallen. There are a lot of really crappy things that have happened, are happening, and will happen. Sin is a real disease that has long infected our entire existence. This isn't just something that we know in the Church. We know that our world is in a deep state of desperation that only seems to worsen as time goes on. The Black Eyed Peas even re-released their song "Where is the Love" with a timely music video:

We look around and our hearts are burdened by our own sorrows, the hardships of those we know and love, and the tragedies that break people around the world. We need to be sober-minded about these things. We need to pray as desperately as the brokenness within us and around us. But we cannot allow ourselves to forget the glorious reality of joy and goodness in the process.

"The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise." -Psalm 51:17

                 "Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep." -Romans 12:15

So, what does sharing joy actually look like? What if people take it the wrong way? Anything I would say in response to these questions is far more eloquently put in the following article:

Your Joy Soothes Another's Grief

Tell me something good. Tell me something that will stir my affection for the LORD and to praise Him in a fresh way. Tell me, and encourage me to tell you, something good. 

How My Story is an Abortion Story

       That I know of, there are at least two women related to me that, according to society, had every right to have an abortion. If either of these women had an abortion, I would not be here. I've known for a while that my mom was in the position that many young women are today. She was in love, in college, and had a surprise pregnancy. Sure they were were serious, but how could they be ready for a child? And it wasn't like either of my parents had lovely examples to look to when it came to what a family is supposed to look like. My mom's father left when she was pretty young--left for another woman and another family. Both of my dad's parents had passed away by the time he was 13. When my mom became pregnant with me, Planned Parenthood or a similar abortion clinic could have been an easy fix for them. My mom wouldn't have had to drop out of college to finish her pregnancy, and my dad could have had at least another year to figure out what he wanted to do with his life. 

          It wasn't like my parents were in an environment that criminalized abortion or made parenting seem care-free. Where my parents lived when I was first born was a place where police sirens were constantly going off. People were selling their young daughters to be sex slaves, and their sons were practically guaranteed to be around drugs at some point. My parents could have easily chosen to abort me believing that they were keeping me from a world of real bad hurt that they were in--but they didn't. Though they grew up experiencing first hand the difficulties of raising a child in less-than-ideal circumstances, they chose to keep me. Neither of my parents have a college degree, and I was at my parents' wedding, but if you ask them, they'll tell you: they don't regret it one bit.

             The other woman that could have, and many would say should have had an abortion in my family is my great great grandmother. My father is Black, and so was my great great grandma. However, my great great grandma was raped by a White man, and my great grandma is the product of that. There are very few cases that both pro-choice and pro-life have some sort of agreement on in which abortion is viewed as less evil than others. In this case, a case not only of rape (which in and of itself is a horrible, horrible evil) but of race-related rape. Having grown up in the south and knowing our history, I've always had the general understanding that somewhere along the lines someone in my family on my dad's side at the very least, was raped. Negro women were often raped by their "Master," and were still raped after slavery was abolished by White men looking to assert their dominance while getting some sort of twisted pleasure. There are many layers of deep, deep pain wrapped up in this case of my great great grandma being impregnated by a White man raping her. I wouldn't have blamed her if she had chosen to get an abortion, but the reality is, I wouldn't have had a chance to. If she had, my great grandma would have never been born, and she would have never had my grandma, who would have never given birth to my dad.  

               Come to think of it, there is at least one more woman who could have had an abortion. My great grandma Alice. The one I'm named after. Her husband, my great grandfather on my mom's side, was abusive. Many would say it would have made sense for my great grandma Alice to abort a child she had with him as the father. But she didn't, and even though there is a great deal of pain that my great grandma and grandma have gone through, I can type these words. 

              There are a million and one facets to the conversation of abortion. Me telling you it's wrong means next to nothing if you truly think abortion is part of a woman's reproductive rights. And me telling you how abortion is killing children doesn't make anything less painful for the women that have had abortions, been shunned from the Church, or other awful situations. But I can tell you that there is hope. You may not have planned to get pregnant. I won't pretend to know the pain and conflict that you're feeling because I have never been pregnant. But I do know that you don't have to be afraid, and you don't have to choose abortion. The life growing inside of you was put there on purpose by Someone who loves you more than you can comprehend. And He loves that little child inside of you too. It's okay if you don't want to keep that baby. You shouldn't feel ashamed if you feel the need to give your baby up for adoption. There are lots of parents out there who are ready and willing to take on that responsibility for you so you don't have to, but don't disqualify the right of life to that baby growing inside of you. For you, the woman who has either had an abortion, or is considering one, or has encouraged someone else to get  one, here are some beautiful words of encouragement, and confessions from the broken hearts of those that have been a part of an abortion:
To a Woman Considering Abortion

Lecrae Confesses Abortion, Invites Others Into The Light

Beautiful Life by Trip Lee ft. V. Rose

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nPpp-2VcMrA

         Let us no longer pretend that abortion is not killing babies.  We know they are killing children--all of us know.  Abortion is the Anti-Gospel. If you are one who, as I have, asks the question of "what about women's rights?", I point you to these two articles that address that question far more eloquently than I could hope to:
Why the Simple Right to Abortion is Unjust

The Truth (About Abortion) Will Set You Free 

There you have it. That is how my story is an abortion story. More accurately, how I have a story because abortions didn't happen. May God encourage or convict you however is necessary with His Truth, and may He cause you to forget anything I have said that is not Truth.
May the very real and very precious grace and peace of God be with you all.

I Am Shallow Sharon

               My name is definitely not Sharon. My name is Alice. But for the sake of this post, that is irrelevant. The picture below is from an Upworthy article (which was originally published on Waitbutwhy.com) 3 things to watch out for when you're trying to pick the right life partner. 

           This is Shallow Sharon. The article describes her as someone that "is more concerned with the on-paper description of her life partner than the inner personality beneath it. There are a bunch of boxes that she needs to have checked — things like his height, job prestige, wealth level, accomplishments, or maybe a novelty item like being foreign or having a specific talent." 

         Earlier today I was scrolling through this article on my phone, and when I got to that part, I had to catch my breath. Growing up I definitely had a list of "essential" surface-level attributes and talents. I got to college, and my list shortened and changed, and then eventually kind of went out of my radar. Now, I am, as I recently read someone describe themselves, "as single as a slice of American cheese." 

      However, as a living breathing human being, I desire a relationship. I am an entirely whole person with a specific purpose living life right now (and will not ever be waiting for my life to "begin" if/when someone comes along), BUT, dating/eventually marriage is something that I do desire. The concept that God may grant me a life of singleness is definitely a real possibility, and either way God is more than enough to satisfy me, walk with me, and carry me through this life. That is a related, but different issue.

      Back to my box-checking. Like I said, for the past year and some change, I thought of my "list" as something that was tucked away in a box in a closet somewhere that I'd pull out if I happened to need it. What I didn't realize though, is that the "shallow Sharon" mentality has still played a large role in how I view potential significant others. As I reflect on the young men I've been interested in and why I'm attracted to them, I can see some of the ugly reality of my shallowness. In that, I see that my desire to date is almost entirely about me. I want him to be like x, y, and/or z. I want him to be able to sing, play a musical instrument, be willing to watch whatever movie I want, do this or that, etc. Ultimately, what I've realized when I've looked back on guys that I've recently been attracted to is that, as "shallow Sharon" says, I love the concept of them. I want them to be whatever I imagine them to be. And that is very, very wrong. 

      Is it wrong for me to be attracted more to people that have certain hobbies or other surface level attributes? No, not necessarily. But when I get excited about someone and consider them a potential significant other more for the qualities that are on my list than who they are as a person, that is not okay in any sense of the word. 

     So I'm shallow Sharon, and I know I shouldn't be. What am I going to do? Pray that God continues to make me more like Himself. I'll pray that He gives me a vulnerable heart and a humble mind. I'll pray for Him to take captive my every thought and make it obedient to Christ (2 Corinthians 10:5). There are many more things that could be said on this issue, and some of those things may eventually come out in another post or some other fashion. There are also many others that have already written thoroughly on the subject. 

Here are two wonderful posts that hold great truths about relationships and God:

Dear, "Dear Future Husband"

Reckless Abandonment