My name is definitely not Sharon. My name is Alice. But for the sake of this post, that is irrelevant. The picture below is from an Upworthy article (which was originally published on Waitbutwhy.com) 3 things to watch out for when you're trying to pick the right life partner.
This is Shallow Sharon. The article describes her as someone that "is more concerned with the on-paper description of her life partner than the inner personality beneath it. There are a bunch of boxes that she needs to have checked — things like his height, job prestige, wealth level, accomplishments, or maybe a novelty item like being foreign or having a specific talent."
Earlier today I was scrolling through this article on my phone, and when I got to that part, I had to catch my breath. Growing up I definitely had a list of "essential" surface-level attributes and talents. I got to college, and my list shortened and changed, and then eventually kind of went out of my radar. Now, I am, as I recently read someone describe themselves, "as single as a slice of American cheese."
However, as a living breathing human being, I desire a relationship. I am an entirely whole person with a specific purpose living life right now (and will not ever be waiting for my life to "begin" if/when someone comes along), BUT, dating/eventually marriage is something that I do desire. The concept that God may grant me a life of singleness is definitely a real possibility, and either way God is more than enough to satisfy me, walk with me, and carry me through this life. That is a related, but different issue.
Back to my box-checking. Like I said, for the past year and some change, I thought of my "list" as something that was tucked away in a box in a closet somewhere that I'd pull out if I happened to need it. What I didn't realize though, is that the "shallow Sharon" mentality has still played a large role in how I view potential significant others. As I reflect on the young men I've been interested in and why I'm attracted to them, I can see some of the ugly reality of my shallowness. In that, I see that my desire to date is almost entirely about me. I want him to be like x, y, and/or z. I want him to be able to sing, play a musical instrument, be willing to watch whatever movie I want, do this or that, etc. Ultimately, what I've realized when I've looked back on guys that I've recently been attracted to is that, as "shallow Sharon" says, I love the concept of them. I want them to be whatever I imagine them to be. And that is very, very wrong.
Is it wrong for me to be attracted more to people that have certain hobbies or other surface level attributes? No, not necessarily. But when I get excited about someone and consider them a potential significant other more for the qualities that are on my list than who they are as a person, that is not okay in any sense of the word.
So I'm shallow Sharon, and I know I shouldn't be. What am I going to do? Pray that God continues to make me more like Himself. I'll pray that He gives me a vulnerable heart and a humble mind. I'll pray for Him to take captive my every thought and make it obedient to Christ (2 Corinthians 10:5). There are many more things that could be said on this issue, and some of those things may eventually come out in another post or some other fashion. There are also many others that have already written thoroughly on the subject.
Here are two wonderful posts that hold great truths about relationships and God:
